Welcome to Decentralizers: The Worlds Stupidest Franchise.

Enjoy this movie that explains nothing.

First there were action figures and short movies. Now slowly shove this PFP project down your gullet.

1 project. 3 drops. 9 characters. 30 tribes. 45 rares. 270 special “commandos.” 2520 total 1/1s.

FIRST DROP

PEPE (1/280)

PEPE (1/280)

SBF (1/280)

SBF (1/280)

vitalik 1/280

vitalik 1/280

I sat around drawing a 1980s comic style PFP instead of watching tik toks.

read this ——>

Hello my name is NFN Kalyan. Steve Jobs invented iPizza in 1998 and now I have invented the ePFP. You’re welcome. “e” stands for elevated because Decentralizers is not a regular ass PFP. It’s elevated like Mount Everest is elevated and all those people died trying to climb it because they didn’t have any oxygen. Now I have to read news articles about how many dead bodies are up on that stupid mountain. That’s how elevated this PFP is.

Just to briefly explain why my name is dumb: the “NFN” in “NFN Kalyan” stands for “no first name” because I only have one name. Like Zendaya or a Twix or Santa Claus. Santa means saint, fool. It’s not his name. His name is just Claus. My name is just Kalyan. Santa NFN Kalyan. Patron saint of those shoes with the toes.

Moving on to the ePFP: First, I drew a billion (or whatever) traits for each character. Then every 1/1 was planned on a spreadsheet by hand like a nerd (again by me). Then I (still me. keep up) made every ePFP by hand in photoshop by making layers visible and invisible. If a PFP didn’t look right I would customize it on the spot. I didn’t automate the process and just spit out a bunch of images like a fucking fax machine in the 1980s. Or whenever people used fax machines.

And it took like a year.

I think this is the most traits that any PFP has ever had. That being said, I honestly haven’t looked at every other PFP.

Anyway this project is awesome. Everything is hand drawn and extra custom. To be clear: custom is a Lambo with a nice paint job. Extra custom is a Lambo with gun turrets mounted on the roof. No one has that. Anyways that’s what this project is. Gun turrets on a Lambo. With free tacos. And water that tastes good. Have you ever traveled to a city and their water tastes like shit? Like Orlando? This project isn’t like Orlando. It’s like Singapore with whiskey coming out of the faucets.

Sometimes I drink Kombucha. It started as a joke and now I do it while I watch T.V. and it’s fucking sad.

I did nine different characters for this PFP and I wanted to celebrate all the different aspects of this Crypotopia we live in. Not just Vitalik and Satoshi. But the assholes, symbols and outright criminals too.

Anyways it’s dropping in three separate drops. There are 9 total characters so each drop will be three characters at a time. The second and third drops are super secret so I blacked them out below. You can see below by scrolling. Those instructions are just in case you’re my grandma. She’s dead but you never know.

I didn’t just invent Decentralizers randomly. I have been doing this Decentralizer shit since 2022. Which is like 44 BC in this fucking space.

Australia is wider than the moon. Avocados are not vegetables.

DROPS 2 AND 3

elon outline.png
sophia outline.png
DOGE outline.png
do kwon outline.png
cz outline.png
aple outline.png

All the Characters are divided into TEAMS. I capitalized TEAMS because maybe you still are my Grandma. Hello grandma! Every Character has some of all 30 teams. Scroll down Grandma. Also hey Grandma: I made this website all by myself on Squarespace.

No Squarespace didn’t pay me to mention them. They don’t know I exist.

Here’s the teams!

Look at the arrow

1) blue 1 blue chips copy.png
2) blue 2 diamond hands copy.png
3) blue 3 gn infantry copy.png
4) blue 4 moon boys copy.png
5) blue 5 the whales copy.png
GARUD.png
6) green 1 bag guardians.png
7) green 2 fud warriors copy.png
8) green 3 gm prime copy.png
9) green 4 maximalists copy.png
10) green 5 hodlers copy.png
DRONA.png
11) orange 1 ath inc copy.png
12) orange 2 defi unit copy.png
13) orange 3 LFG copy.png
14) orange 4 rekt league copy.png
15) orange 5 team wagmi copy.png
KARNA.png
16) purple 1 alpha force copy.png
17) purple 2 iykyk death squad copy.png
18) purple 3 probably nothing copy.png
19) purple 4 shadow dao copy.png
20) purple 5 team wen copy.png
ARJUN.png
21) red 1 btfd mfers copy.png
22) red 2 degens copy.png
23) red 3 raging bulls copy.png
24) red 4 rug supreme copy.png
25) red 5 the bros copy.jpg
INDRA.png
26) yellow 1 1:1s copy.png
27) yellow 2 alt corps copy.png
28) yellow 3 dox squad copy.png
29) yellow 4 sats watch copy.png
30 yellow 5 shitcoiners copy.png
RAM.png

Can you fucking read? zislkfjlalkaboklkaw oblkj

Can you fucking read? zislkfjlalkaboklkaw oblkj

Here’s the Decentralizer action figures. You can try to buy one if anyone will sell them to you. Just click the picture.

grandma. dont double click. just click once. also: The clitoris is the sensitive area located on the top of the vulva. that sentence is not for you grandma. it’s for these other guys.

Elon

Elon

Captain Nifty

Captain Nifty

Doge Head

Doge Head

Beeple

Beeple

Satoshi

Satoshi

ReTweetlon

ReTweetlon

Vitalik

Vitalik

Mega Mutant Ape

Mega Mutant Ape

Winklevii

Winklevii

Boss Logic

Boss Logic

Ted Bundy

Ted Bundy

Aileen Wournos

Aileen Wournos

John Wayne Gacy

John Wayne Gacy

Jeffrey Dahmer

Jeffrey Dahmer

Zodiac Killer

Zodiac Killer

Satoshi DTF (Down To Fork)

Satoshi DTF (Down To Fork)

About NFN Kalyan

Holy shit this is way to serious so don’t read it if you’re in a good mood.

For 15 years, NFN Kalyan has been deconstructing, rearranging and pushing the boundaries in both the physical and digital art worlds. First with his ghost like glass sculptures before transitioning to 2D with mixed media and finally the “sampling” based oil painting that made him famous, he never stops moving. Each new medium becomes an examination of the possibilities of the material. Each new material provides a different way to look at the world.

It is with that background that Kalyan entered the blockchain space in the summer of 2020, becoming one of the first artists on Nifty Gateway. While continuing his successful physical practice, he also became a pioneer of the burgeoning NFT market.

Kalyan had four early drops with Nifty Gateway before taking a full year haitus from digital releases. Then in April of 2022 he returned with a surprising 5th drop: the first batch of Decentralizer action figures.

Decentralizers functions at once as a parody of idolatry, a tongue in cheek love letter to crypto, a nostalgic look at childhood toys and an observation on the role of superheroes in contemporary culture. With the launch of The Decentralizers PFP it also resembles franchises for children that began as toys before branching out into other mediums.

The Decentralizers PFP is a gloriously massive collection of 80s halftone comic book drawings. But it is also much more. I call it an “elevated” PFP because at its core it is fine art.

In this project, Kalyan’s material is not simply pixels. His material is made up of the logistics, bias and desires we have imagined around PFP projects and in that ethereal substance he has found yet another way of looking at the world at large. More apparently, the content itself is a meta critique of space it exists in.

It is worth noting that Kalyan’s manner of deconstructing 1/1s is in opposition to the method Andy Warhol utilized in deconstructing printmaking. In the 20th century, Warhol’s “factory art” innovations were best served by removing the hand of the individual from an artwork. His ideas defined many art practices of the last 50 years. Kalyan has conversely removed the team and automation from PFPs. It is a powerful statement in the infancy of this new millennium.

That being said, I’ll allow you to examine the finished 1/1s for yourself. The Decentralizers project contains so many brilliant decisions that were made day by day and hour after hour for a year. Another method could not have yielded such results. This PFP has eccentricity, point of view and innovation. It has a soul. Put simply, it is elevated.

Enjoy The Decentralizers. I know I will.

Vincent Harrison, Owner of iv gallery / digital nativ

26 March 2024